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BeardoMan

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 I had heard wonderful things about the 2018 film 'Mandy'. Where I live though, it wasn't in any local theaters save for some hours away. Not wanting to go solo, I decided to wait until the eventual home release. Promptly forgot, then a friend happened to have it. So I spent roughly ~3 hours of time watching a solid 6/10 film about religious Mansen types colluding with bikers hopped up on some super acid from mason jars while listening to what's essentially Kate Blanchett's drugged up sister whisper about being deep. Then there's the main selling point of the film, the man whose name is in bold right above the title, with top billing in the opening credits and who the film opens with; Nicholas Cage, playing Red. 

Mandy (Andrea Riseborough) and Red (Nicholas Cage) live in the ugliest little log cabin/glass house in the middle of the woods. Red is a lumber jack who often likes to lounge around in a shirt with a tiger emblazoned on the chest and Mandy is a struggling artist filled with feelings of malaise and constant bouts of boredom. As it stands, Mandy also mans a little shop where she runs into the hippie-freaks of the film. After many hours of long talks about a troubled childhood Mandy had that most likely influences the deep reds and figures seen in her artwork, she is eventually kidnapped by the cult, and aided by said bikers from above, in which they wax more philisophicals about how the leader, Jeremiah, wishes to impregnate her and bring her into the fold of their commune. She laughs at his little member which deeply embarrasses him enough to have her hung and burned in front of Red, all while Red is bound to a fence post by barbed wire around his wrists and mouth. 

To be completely honest, when I heard it was a grindhouse film, I was expecting something like 'Brawl in Cell Block 99' which was a slow burn I will admit, but watching funny man Vince Vaughn crush people's skulls like melons or deliver a single punch so powerful it both knocks out his victim's teeth and rips off their jaw bone, I had some expectations. Not unreasonable expectations, I obviously expected maybe a slow burn to the inevitable carnage. But goodness gracious was this the slowest burn imaginable. There are a total of 3 chapters in the film. You clearly need to have seen a bit of Chapters 1 and 2 to understand why a bloody, drug-fueled Cage is shooting people with crossbow bolts and chopping people in half with an axe straight from 'The Darkness' comics. However, if you ever find a fan-made supercut of the film or whatever, it'll save you time and be a more cohesive story. All you need to know is that Nick has some demons, Mandy is his gf/fiance, a cult wants her and is aided by some bikers, they kill her, Nick REEEEEEE's and crushes people's heads with his hands. That is, if you can even tell what's happening. For whatever reason, the director also decided that someone must've turned off the sun or any ambient lighting of any kind. For the vast majority of the film, you can see absolutely nothing. When Cage inevitably goes on a spree against the biker gang first, you can barely tell what is happening before, during and after the carnage. One person falls down a large bottomless pit the bikers have in their house, another looks as if he's blowing himself and another just kinda shows up and gets his neck snapped or its the same one who was performing self-fellacio or smoking a bong or was just really hunched over. I really couldn't tell. I understand bathing these hellish figures in darkness is a good way to keep an air of mystery and dread, and obscure a probably lackluster costume, but I need to be able to see what's happening as well.

 So my group of friends all reached a consensus, if you just watch the last chapter titled 'Mandy', which is also the film you were sold with the trailers, it's still as coherent whether or not you watch the first chapter. Its not an average film by any means, and there are some genuinely cool effects in the film. As well, the artwork "Mandy" creates is a level I, and many artists, hope to achieve one day. But goodness me is this film boring. If you ever do watch this, do yourself a favor and just watch the last chapter. It's the longest, at around an hour and ten minutes, but trust me you'll still understand what's going on but this time without all the artsy fartsy talk.
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 This game is the biggest time sink I've played in a long time. This rivals FFXV with how much time I wasted, but rivals Dark Souls with what I actually get in return for my time. I have never played the original MH games,  but I have played a lot of 'Hunter-like' games before. I am used to the mechanics and ideas before I picked it up. So, coming from a casual player in the series, this game is an immediate buy. 

 The story is that our character is a Fiver, a high-rank hunter, on an expedition to a new island continent. This is also coupled with the idea to try and intercept a large volcanic elder dragon named Zorah Magdaros, who almost kills us before we even make land fall. From that point on, it is skinning or caging monsters and learning more and more about why Zorah was trying to carve its way across the island. As well, why Nergigante, the elder dragon that eats elder dragons, is here as well to try and ruin our little hunting party.

 I am glad this game features a story. It isn't as grandiose as Toukiden or as dramatic as God Eater, but it shows that these monsters are real threats, and the hunters that fight them have nerves of steel. Heck, our first cutscene reaching the new world is our hunter almost getting flattened in a turf war between an Anjanath and a Great Jagras. It ends with us almost getting flattened when the Anjanath hurls the Jagras at the gate we slid under. From that point on, our story is more along the lines of "we got this new tool, use it" or "go track this monster". Aside from 2 story missions, there isn't talk of anything world ending, for the most part the story elements set up the new areas we go to. We meet the Third Fleet master (she's hot) and discover the Coral Highlands, and eventually helping her allows us to reach the Rotten Vale. She isn't telling us that Zorah Magdaros holds the chaos emeralds and will annihilate the world, she tells us that she needs monster wings and trusts us, a hunter that conquered everything until that point, to kill/capture the monster she needs. Also, most of the characters we meet don't have novels worth of backstory, many we meet once and they might have a chance of coming back later in the story. A stark contrast for a guy that plays RPGs where each character has a novel about their story. I enjoyed learning about the game and lore at my own pace. To compare, it felt more like Pokemon. I am just one of many people who travel and discover new things about the land. I may not be the first hunter to fight a monster, but I will be the one to kick its ass and make myself some armor out of its hide.

 Combat is very accessible in this game. You don't have to wholly give yourself to a single weapon class anymore, not saying you shouldn't as I've become a complete monster with the hammer. You get each weapon (the iron version, not bone) to start out with and mess around. I find myself gravitating toward the long sword (weebsticks unite), hammer, dual blades and bows. But, I can also pick up the insect glaive, sword and shield, or whatever else I want. Though the combos may feel different, you quickly get used to them. If you're like me, you'll take a new weapon out into a fight to learn the hard way, eventually getting the placement just right, timing the dodges and finally killing the monster. Each weapon feels both unique to use and play, but easy enough to pick up and learn on the fly. Heck, the game even has a handful of useful combos to do in the Hunter's manual, so you can at the very least have a starting point. I will admit though, the light bowgun toward the end game had the heavy bowgun beat in terms of mobility and raw damage for me. When you fight monsters like Black Diablos and tempered Kirin, you need the ability to run and roll quickly. I love the way each monster reacts to weapons. If you deliver enough blows to the monster's head, they recoil and might get stunned. If you attack their feet enough, it has a chance to knock them out of their big attacks and trip them. If you can deliver a massive concussion to their head, you'll break their face and get some rare material out of it, also causing them to fall on the floor. Each monster has attacks they'll only do in desperation, in anger, or when certain pieces are cut off. Outside of that, you can mount monsters and try to go for broke in an all out stab attack. Jumping across the monster, knife in hand to stab at them while they try to buck you off. Eventually, if you wear them down, you can use your weapon for a devastating attack that'll send them crashing to the ground, opening them up for more devastating attacks/free hits. Without even telling you the health of the monster, you can just tell from how it carries itself throughout the ordeal just how weak it is. Heck, even the music can give some cues for you about the monster. There are status ailments you can apply to the monster too, some are more susceptible to ailments than others so it is good to make "specialized weapons" for certain tough monsters. Some monsters are really susceptible to poison/blast, or stun, so if you make a weapon that gives those ailments, you can kill your monster much faster and easier.

 The few things I kinda dislike about this game is the drop rates for certain items (which, I know is a moot point), the multiplayer aspect (sometimes) and some ailments. Let's get to the ailments first. As an example, in the Rotten Vale, you take constant effluvia damage, your health bar very slowly ticks down, but it is negligible. Eventually, you fight a monster called an Odogaron (the hell dog). It does bleed. I had no idea what bleed was because I never fought a monster with bleed before. So, I was freaking out that my health was ticking down faster the more I moved. To stop it, you have to stop moving and crouch, eventually the bleed goes away. Aside from the Odogaron still being there trying to kill me, and me never fighting anything with that ailment before, I was annoyed. After I killed/skinned the monster, I found out he had bleed resistance. Now, what the hell. With a Rathian/Rathalos and Pukie-Pukie, these three share a damage ailment amongst each other; poison. You know what you get into when you fight them. The Odogaron is the only monster with bleed, and nothing else in the game does bleed attacks. As well, blast blight. I never dealt with it before until I got to an end-game area. Mind you, I saw some armor had "blast resistance", but I don't believe any other monster except for one in the end-game area does that blight. So when I was sparkling like the fourth of July and exploding, I was more pissed than when I fought the Odogaron. Look, I'm used to being screwed over by games sometimes, but if I at least fought a monster early game that had either of these 2 blights, I would be more comfortable and not panicking when I fought them later. That is a little nit pick. The drop rates, I get. It's what makes this game fun, and why I keep playing. I need that one more gem, that one more plate, that one more whatever. So, I can accept that RNGesus isn't on my side at the end of a quest/hunt/investigation. But, the one thing that gets me is the community. I've always been in the camp of "I'll do it myself, then when I can kick this monster's ass up and down the street, I'll invite people/help players". But some people just join quests and repeatedly try and fight high rank monsters like a low rank monster. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of the game screwing me by trapping me in a stun as Nergigante slam dunks and carts me. But some of the players get so aggressive in a 4-hunter party they seem to forget the monster's health/attack is much stronger than before and seem to just die repeatedly. Nergigante and the elder dragons are a perfect example. You gotta play be their rules. They are vastly different than any other monster, often times requiring the really dumb dragon blight to reduce their armor/attack/rage (I'll get to dragon blight later). Some players decide to fight them like you would a Tobi-Kodachi or Rathalos, flash pods and just wasting stamina. Flash pods, for the most part, should be used to stop slam jam attacks, and stamina/dodging should be used when you know that idiot is trying to charge and you can move quickly. Heck, I always enter fights with evade extender 2. I ain't dyiing. As well, only 2 elder dragons will do the "help me" fall; Toaster and Kushala Doara. Aside from those 2, you should use your flash pods effectively. Try and study the monster. Don't just swing your weebstick like a mall ninja when he looks stunned. Sorry, too many times I've had hunts fail because people decide to go for broke and act super aggressive when they don't have the armor/equipment to warrant that sort of play.

 (Spoilers/Rant) Now, dragon blight/elderseal is the worst thing in this game. It is shrouded in mystery and about ~7 monsters are susceptible to it. When you get it from.... I forget which monster does it, you don't pay attention to it. Heck, I'll bet you that when you do have dragon blight, you won't even notice. It has no visual cue that you are actually affected by it. You don't turn purple, you aren't roasting like the Meowscular chef's steak, you aren't emitting sparks, you look fine. But, with it on, you take extra damage and your stamina is reduced/used up more (I think). As well, by mid/late game, you can make "dragon" weapons. They have the dragon ailment and an "elderseal" modifier. When you can make them, you got no idea what those mean. I'm gonna explain both to the best of my ability. Dragon is comparable to fire damage on a weapon. Aside from the actual attack damage, you do an extra amount of damage on top of that. Gems can boost dragon attack by added numbers and percentages (which is more in-depth). But elderseal is what we're here to talk about too. Elder dragons have the ability to coat their bodies in power (this is only counting 5 so far, not Zorah Magdaros/Nerg), elderseal is an added blight to dragons that reduces their "power armor rank". So, for my favorite monster Vaal Hazak, he can cover himself in nasty fog for added attacks, defense and damage. What elderseal does is per hit, it'll slowly reduce the power build. So eventually, his armor will be taken away. It doesn't seal shit. It should be "elder sap" or something, because if he is just left there after his power is sealed, he'll just regain it by sucking in more smog. Same with the other 4 I mentioned. Kirin does this too, though less frequently. When Kirin does the power armor, it shocks its own horn and you begin to see lightning spark along its body. This means he is now able to deflect attacks. It'll take a lot of elderseal attacks to get rid of the lightning build up. I thought I'd clear that up because I had to actually look up things on the internet to help me learn these things. 

 But, this game is a definite buy for me. I enjoy every second I play the game. No 2 hunts are exactly the same. Heck, even the multiplayer I kinda bashed above has surprised me on more than 1 occasion. It's amazing when 4 of you, almost one after another, leap onto a monster's back, it frantically trying to buck you off as an insect glaive user is doing his red sky attack, his kinsect adding blast dust to the area so it is explosions every swing, the great sword user launching you skyward so you can clock the monster in the head and the arrow user putting poison and all kinds of ailments to the monster. When everything comes together in sync, that is the reason you keep playing. Without saying a word to each other, you 4 idiots did the greatest monster hunt, which makes you want to play more and more. Heck, I know I'm gonna keep playing. Probably after I post this.
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 This is a review of the show Devilman: Crybaby. I'm sorry to say, I actually had no idea that Devilman was a series that was so well established. In fact, as of a week ago, I actually had no idea the show even existed. I just thought it was a clever  in-universe joke with this anime. Since in the anime, Devilman is already well established as we see manga and a few shots of the original anime spliced in. So, this little review will be of Crybaby from a casual viewer, and not a long time fan of the source material. As well, this show is incredibly graphic. I'm usually pretty okay with blood and guts, like any long desensitized person is. But the way each kill is animated changes it from a "Hollywood death" into a man who is just dead. As well, this show is full of sex and nudity. If there isn't somebody fucking or getting fucked, it'll usually be happening in the next few minutes anyway.

 'Devilman Crybaby' is based on the original manga by Go Nagai, animated by studio Dynamic Planning. Akira Fudo is a weak high school student until a childhood friend, Ryo, suddenly comes back into his life. After gaining the power of a demonic champion, Amon, Akira and Ryo decide to team up to help humans fight off the demon threat. With this new power, Akira becomes a Devilman, a being with the body of a demon but the heart of a human.

 To be completely honest, the shows art style initially turned me off. It seems to be only rotoscoping, in which there is actually very little lines that define folds in clothes, hair, etc. It heavily relies on clever, kinda off model drawing with initially odd color choice. To compare it, it visually resembles that music video of those kids that sneak into a pool, or some shorts from the Animatrix. As you often see in the show, moving limbs are often distorted to show incredible speed, and it is a very huge shock going from something like Jojo or Lupin the Third to a show that almost heavily relies on how well you can ignore the very obvious off-model distortion. That may sound like a huge criticism, but after episode 1, I gave 2 a chance. After that, they had me hooked. As I write this, it's 5:30am, I marathoned the entire show. I thoroughly enjoyed my time spent. Going back to episode 1, I never realized how well the show conveyed emotion in scenes. As episode 1, in which our main character Akira Fudo's life is soon upheaved, we get the full treatment to how he feels in Sabbath. Each cut to various scenes are close-up, messy, and neon vomit. Then, as soon as we see Akira again, he looks clearly uncomfortable to be in a place and situation like this. Even as late as episode 8, when Akira's uncle/adopted dad finds his earth shattering revelation, it really hits you. The scenes cut from him, to what he sees, to his gun, to wide angles of him gripping with reality. I commend the studio that animated this. It moves so fluidly, not even bothering with transformation sequences for when action kicks in. As characters can just faze in and out of transforming so the action never feels like it needs to stop so Devilman can equip his powers or whatever. When he feels threatened, Akira just transforms right there. As do the other demons, as often enough, they can carry full conversations while mid-transformation. 

 Going into the show blind makes for a roller coaster of emotion. Often enough, you find an episode to have a sinister air about it, only to end with Devilman winning against any evil demons he fights. Often thrown in are scenes and shots that ground the show as to subvert your expectation of this triumphant feeling. This isn't an anime like Fate/Stay Night (which I should talk about at some point) or, again, Jojo. The show gets incredibly human among all the chaos. Once Akira gets these powers and we see him changing and exploring what his new body can do, we understand that he feels much more confident. He can beat up 5 dudes with one hand. He can run a lap in under 10 seconds when his best time the day before was ~30. He can use his incredible sight to see right through clothes and with that, he must hold back his desires, because he actually might hurt and kill the people he loves. Though he may act tough, now understanding that he is much better than before, he still cries. He cries for anyone in pain. But, come episode 4 and beyond, that sense of joy starts to fade. I can't spoil the show, it wouldn't do it justice. But, to understand what I mean, think of the game 'Doki Doki Literature Club'. If you ever heard anything about it, you understand the game for what it is, and the magic is gone. But enter blind, you get to experience the raw emotion that was intended.
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 To start, I love classic Wolfenstein. It is a simple run-and-gun where an escaped American GI goes on a murderous rampage of Nazis in a castle. All the while, using whatever he finds to his advantage. I thought the remake 'Wolfenstein: The New Order' was good, if not damn near difficult at times. William Joseph Blaskowicz, a half-Polish Jew gets righteous revenge against the Nazi war machine after it has already conquered the world. Now, in the sequel, we find our characters on a U-boat, touring America trying to free the USA and start a global revolution. 

 This game came out at a weird time. I didn't buy it initially because it was getting flak from all sides saying it was trying to capitalize on the current political climate, how it was racist, this and that. I bought it during the recent Steam Christmas sale and it was.... it was something. I'm a bit let down by this game. As much fun as it was stepping into the shoes of the baddest killer in gaming since Duke freakin' Nukem, this game just missed the mark. It seems to be shorter than the 'New Order', and it mentions how Nazis and the Klan have teamed up together in this big pow wow, but we only see the KKK once. To be completely honest, the story wasn't a desperate struggle by a small group united by a goal larger than themselves as the 'New Order', it felt more like the remake of 'Red Dawn'. It was campy, a bit over dramatic, and everything serious already happened so they tend to just talk about all the serious bits. 

 The gameplay had a bit of a shift from the first game. As fun as it is rocking dual-machine guns and slaying Nazis left and right, the team behind it removed some weapons, gave us some features that are kinda useless, and gimped BJ for about half the game. I will mention below what happened to BJ and get into story/spoiler talk, but here I will focus on gameplay. The stealth is, challenging. Unlike Thief where you can rely on good sound design to guess where your enemies are by footsteps and excellent verticality, you often find yourself getting tripped up because the wrong enemy type saw your foot and now everyone and their mother knows Terror Billy is here. For a majority of the game, I found myself trying to stealth through certain areas, killing both commanders before I go crazy on the survivors, but often enough, they saw my gun, they saw my foot, they just saw me everywhere. It just seems like a weird option to have, especially because there are in-game perks you can unlock/upgrade for BJ and for 1/3 require a stealth approach. Silently killing a guard 50 times sounds easy, especially in a game with lots of enemies, but you quickly find yourself stealth killing 1 guard, but combat executing the next 50 because they all heard you. Or to get a damage boost for your silenced weapons, you must kill ~30 commanders before they sound the alarm. It sounds easy enough. To be honest, getting to level 1 of the perk was a breeze. But it becomes near impossible to actually upgrade this perk unless you are in the habit of save scumming until something goes right. Now, ignoring stealth, the actual combat is a bit strange. It felt more doable in 'The New Order', medium meant medium, easy made you a god, hard meant you should give up unless you enjoy cover shooters. Here, medium will beat you down until there is nothing left. Why dual wield wildly inaccurate guns at enemies that flank you and throw grenades at you with great prejudice when you can take your time with an armor piercing single-shot stermgweher and move on after clearing the enemies.This tactic becomes almost required toward the end as you gotta hide and wait until enemies poke their heads out so you can snipe them, focus on drones/high mobile targets first, and if all else fails, stuff your face with armor pieces and donuts. It is a weird mix of needing stealth to kill the commanders to eliminate their ability to call for backup, but often resorting to combat because the game fucked you. However, I will admit that the stealth is fixed a bit. There is a small window you have where the enemy will "second guess" themselves. Often times, they know you're there. 

 The story is a bit upsetting. The game takes place in the late 60's, with the Black Power movement and, well, rebellion smashed together. Around the late 40's, the Nazis took over America and rounded up Jews, "undesirables" and people of color and sent them to ghettos and concentration camps. Our valiant heroes find themselves in the U-boat of love, and Blaskowicz is recovering from getting his intestines blown out of his body. Caroline dies, BJ takes her exo suit and begins killing Nazis. Not with the fervor of a hot blooded American, but more because he feels obligated. He lost that spark. His organs are failing, he is getting much older, and he realizes that he might not actually be there for his kids when they're born. It gets to him, and I sympathize with his troubles, but he needs to shut up. He talks every few steps about dying, how much that sucks, why it sucks, and shuts away his wife. He's got a lot on his plate, but, for a vast majority of the game, he prays to Caroline to help him go on just a bit longer. She would put everyone else's safety and happiness above her own. He wants to be like her? Fucking shower with your wife! Explain the hang ups you have about dying, fucking take a break instead of staying up for ~4 days (not kidding, they tell him to relax, and in his dying body this dude just powers through sleep). I do enjoy the new characters like Super Spesh and Grace, as well as some of the twists the game throws you for like Spesh trying to plan your escape from a prison. I will admit though, there are some scenes I enjoyed. A few scenes of BJ when it was just him as a kid with his family, I was actually enthralled with. An abusive father, a mother who hopes that her son can actually escape from all this. It's something we've seen before, but it felt more alive here. As well, a few scenes with Wyatt (I chose the timeline where he lives) make for great comedy and interesting storytelling. However, that's about the end of it. The rebels in Manhattan can be summed up as 'Black Panthers/Black Power' the rebels in New Orleans can basically be summed up as 'crazy bayou people' and the crew on the ship are.... whatever they want to spawn in. Roth Set is probably my favorite character from the whole game. Not because he does an interesting twist, just how he acts and holds himself. The Yiddish phrases and his high strung behavior made him feel more alive than BJ "I'm dying" Blaskowicz, Wyatt "feel good" Probst, or Grace "right on, brotha" Walker. Now, toward the halfway mark, the game throws you for a loop and was an interesting twist, but it seemed they gimped BJ just to gimp him again. Then, as quick as it started, and you feel like "this is it, this time we take the fight to them!", it ends. Pretty abruptly too. You seize the one thing the Nazis can use against your group, actually take control of it and when you get your sweet revenge in a QTE, it ends. Or, the main story ends. Now, you can "tie up loose ends" by revisiting old smaller sections of levels to kill Nazi oberkommandos. They're like regular commanders, but, they have special cards that drop when they die. 

 This game has little replay value. Unlike DOOM which keeps you continuously on the move with fast-paced gameplay and excellent music making each gun fight feel as intense as the last, 'The New Colossus' just doesn't. There is no multiplayer, and aside from the DLC chapters coming out, there's really nothing left. Wolfenstein 'The New Order' had a similar issue, but at least its campaign was 12 hours long. I beat TNC in about ~7 hours. If I didn't die as often as I did, I probably could have beat it sooner. Now, the game isn't bad, there are a few levels that are actually the most entertaining things I've done in a long time. The first mission is BJ waking up from a coma and immediately putting his old ass in a wheelchair because he has been asleep for months, so the entire first mission is you wheeling yourself around the ship shooting Nazis. Another level has you fighting in a house being held up by magnetic hooks from a sky carrier and having to disconnect the hooks, causing the house to swing around the air wildly while you shoot at enemies was fun and disorienting. Riding on a Panzerhund and setting Nazis on fire was amazing and fun. There are many fun moments in this game, but they are a slog to get to. Maybe Wolfenstein 3 will be better, maybe they'll make it come with an auto pick-up system instead of you having to mash X to both reload and eat food/wear 40 helmets. Maybe BJ won't be so squishy on harder difficulties. I don't know what the future holds. Heck, maybe, just maybe, we can actually kick Hitler in the ball.
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 When one of my friends comes down for a holiday, I make it a point to gather some others together and watch bad movies. Last big holiday was bad Christian films (God's Not Dead 1&2, Kirk Cameron Saving Christmas, etc). This film I chose was one very near and dear to my heart. I originally saw it in 2007 with my mom, cousin, and aunt. For whatever reason, the summer/fall of that year had a string of really bad films playing at our local cinema. God awful doesn't even describe it. The reason this one stuck with me for so many years was how shocked I was by how much happens on screen, but how little actually gets accomplished by the film. The point of the movie is about a prophecy every 500 years, or it kinda started once 500 years ago but whatever. Two star crossed lovers, the champion of the gods and the "girl with the dragon tattoo above her breast", will be reincarnated and must fight to stop... evil Power Ranger's villain rejects.

 "Since the dawn of what became a legend, the most unimaginable is about to occur . This summer, experience the absolute conquest of all mankind. Beginning with one search. For the one and only. The chosen one. Descended from the heavens above. Welcome to Dragon Wars." - Younggu-Art

 This film is honestly really bad. Syfy original film level of bad. You watch it because it is corny. You watch it because there is probably nothing else on tv at the moment. It jumps around, one moment a character is seemingly killed only to wake up in their bed like they incepted a dream. Or, in a flashback 15 years ago, they then flashback 500 years ago to Korea who then has another character flashback to something else with no real explanation. The movie is mostly CGI with B-movie acting. As you watch the film, you see awkwardly lit dinosaur monsters with little hats on next to people in full armor which might've originally appeared in Power Rangers. Our main characters emote to each other and the ultimate Deus Ex wipes out this vast army of darkness in about 15 seconds when they terrorized a city for about 20 minutes of screen time. A giant snake monster called "Buraki" just fumbles around Los Angeles either drinking from pools, barreling through traffic, or eating elephants. All for one girl, the holder of the Yuh Yi Joo, who just "acts". Scenes have no real flow of time as it is morning/noon in one scene, and midnight in another (it shouldn't take 2 people to drive from North LA to a hospital on the West side about ~20 hours). As mentioned above, most scenes introduce our main cast to the villain, only for him to kill them, then reveal it was all a dream. Our villain gets hit by cars about 3 times. LA cops in the film don't ever aim above or below the very small chest-high shields. But all that is why I loved this film so much. 

 As a young kid I was bored, upset at my family for taking me, and confused why this had a premium cost of ~$12 (I forget how much a ticket was) when it seemed like something I could watch for free on TV. As an adult, I am able to share this experience with my friends. I have found a new appreciation for this train wreck of a film. I can now laugh at the really dumb transitions (which don't exist), the dumb sets (which are just scenes in the desert occasionally), and the laughable story (which is so batshit, it makes no sense even looking at plot summaries after watching it). This film is like 'Eragon' and 'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor' bad. There is a plot, stuff does happen on screen, but by the end of the film you swear as if nothing happened at all. Plus, the good news is a sequel was announced in 2016. All we gotta do is wait. 
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Featured

Mandy(2018)- Grindhouse and Indie Divorce by BeardoMan, journal

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Devilman Crybaby- A Tragedy by BeardoMan, journal

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Dragon War (D-War)- Hilarious by BeardoMan, journal